The problem with admitting that you have depression and anxiety is sometimes people look at you different. People act like your different. Like your broken or incapable. Or suddenly stupid or weak. But it's just that your sick. You have an illness. That doesn't mean you some how become an invalid mentally incapable of rational thought.
When I am depressed I am sad for no apparent reason, I am overwhelmed and have drastic inexplicable feelings of hopelessness. I have feelings of irrational fear and worry that makes it difficult to complete tasks. You want to curl up in bed and you have no energy.
Every now and then out of the blue you may even deal with suicidal thoughts. This makes school difficult.
Does this make you somehow less of a person? Does this make you pathetic? Or weak. It's an illness.You can see it on a brain scan.
Nevertheless despite the depression and anxiety I am still a capable person. I am 25 years old. I am intelligent. I am a psychological operations specialist in the Army a part of special operations which is under the same umbrella as the Special Forces. I am a Return Missionary. My Gosh so why do people act like just because I struggle that I am somehow less? Why treat me like I am stupid. Why should I be underestimated? Why should anybody with depression or anxiety think they are less?
So what brought this on? So I am adopting a cat. A none event and something simple. I am a cat person. To qualify for the loophole that will get me around housing policy I need to get a recommendation from a counselor. Basically he needs to confirm that I struggle with depression. I mention to my group leader that I need him to sign a form. And he writes he's not sure I am capable of taking care of cat. WTF He suggests measures should be put in place to ensure the animals welfare. It's a frekkin cat how hard is that? Am I like twelve because I have slumps? Or down periods where I don't feel like going to my Japanese class? I just want to scream. For all you mothers out there many of you who deal with depression or down periods how would you feel if someone suggested you needed to have social services check in on you every now and then since you have hard times? You are somehow inadequate and untrustworthy as a mother?
Isn't that just the most insulting thing you can think off? This isn't even a child this is a cat! I feel like I have been discriminated against by a counselor who should know better. I am 25 years old if I didn't feel like I could take care of a pet, like it would be to much work why would I suggest it? I realize this is a silly inconsequential thing but it's infuriating.
This is the kind of stupidity you get because people think your an invalid just because you have depression. It's because this attitude that people don't admit that they have a problem. Because you have a stigma now. It's just dark times, it's just trials, part of life. Sometimes you need help. Sometimes it's harder to go to school or work. But Damn YOU ARE STILL A CAPABLE PERSON. DAMN ALL THE PEOPLE THAT THINK YOU ARE LESS.
